A Photographer Joke

Apr 30, 2005
Sydney, Australia
The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start a family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”.

Half am hour later, just by chance, a door to door baby photographer rang the door bell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning madam. I’ve come to……

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs Smith cut in.

“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good ! I’ve made a speciality of babies.”

“That’s what my husband and I hoped. Please come in and have a seat.”

After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too …. You can really spread out!”

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me.”

“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“My, my, that’s a lot of ..!!.” gasped Mrs Smith.

“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t I know it, “Mrs Smith muttered.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

“This was done on the top of a bus.”

“Oh my goodness!” Mrs Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with”

“She was difficult ?” asked Mrs Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

“Yes”, the photographer said. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate!

Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in”.

Mrs Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually did that "

“That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so that we can get to work”


“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Cannon on. Its much too big for me to hold very long.

"Madam ? Madam ? Good Lord, she's fainted ! "
Jan 26, 2005
Marysville, WA
I keep hearing that joke and I still haven't figured it out :? :?

I also wonder why the Canon reference here in the Nikon Cafe, eh :?: :?:

nudge-nudge- :wink: :wink:

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