1. Welcome to NikonCafe.com—a friendly Nikon camera & photography discussion forum!

    If you are thinking of buying a camera or need help with your photos, you will find our forum members full of advice! Click here to join for free!

Advice about a friend and the pitbull stereotype...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Wolfie, Jul 28, 2008.

  1. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    Hey everyone,

    I'm kinda down today because I have an issue I'm working out and need to know if I'm handling it the correct way.
    I have a friend who needs a place to live. Originally he was going to move in my current place of residence. It's a small place out in the country with no neighbors. But then I found a nice home for myself and my girlfriend (hopefully soon to be wife, but shhhh!) so I make a move for the home and turns out it's THE home for us. But lets not talk about the home. Needless to say it's a better place to live than my current place, but it's in a neighborhood, a small one but there are still more people around us than before.

    Well, my friend got a pit bull (puppy) and before I started looking at this house and going through the process it started to dawn on me that him having a pit pull could complicate things. Now, I don't believe in the pit bull stereotype. I think they are one of the most misunderstood breeds we have but it's the people to blame first and not the dog. Anyways, I've come to love this dog because she doesn't have a mean bone in her entire body.

    Anyways, she's growing and getting bigger and stronger. My friend still wanted to move in but I told him I didn't think it'd be such a good idea. Because I've always heard of people shooting pit bulls in its own fenced in back yard. People steal them, they sue people for having them and for 'thinking' they are some kind of threat. Is it really that bad?

    So I began to think of my girlfriend, the house and the life we're trying to build. So I decided that him moving in on my property wouldn't be a good idea. Needless to say he's not very happy and has sad some very unkind things.

    Anyways, what would you all have done? Could I have done anything different?
  2. FotoPhocus


    Jun 15, 2008
    If you personally don't have a problem with the pit bull being in your yard, then there's no reason not to.

    People can't sue you just for having a pit bull. They can't legally shoot a pit bull when fenced in your back yard. You can't just steal someone's dog. If you are going to deny yourself something you want because you're afraid of what others might think, or that it might get stolen, you're selling yourself short.

    If you and your girlfriend have no problem with the pit bull being in your yard, and there's no local ordinances against it, then you have to choose between your friend and "everyone else".

    I said all that to say this. A good way to educate people about the breed is to own a loving pit bull and show people how sweet they can be. If you two don't mind the dog, then don't ruin a friendship over it.
  3. Rather than rely on internet advice, you need to check with the town to see what the ordinances are, and with the property insurance company you'll use to insure the mortgage and property. Certain companies will not insure a home with pit bulls in residence. I'm not really getting what moving a guy and his dog into a house you and your girlfriend are purchasing is all about, but I'm kind of slow. :smile:
  4. AlanG


    May 6, 2008
    Virginia, USA
    One thing you need to check into before you decide, is your home owners insurance. A lot of insurance companies are charging a premium, or refusing coverage, for keeping so called "aggressive" breeds.
  5. Exactly!!! Discrimination at its best: you own X breed, no insurance binder for you. No binder, no mortgage ---> no house. All without YOUR dogs having done a thing. Talk about conviction without trial.

    When talking to insurance companies, see if there is a provision for dogs who have passed a CGC (Canine Good Citizen) test. If so, get the dog signed up for basic obedience classes, and then take/pass the test.

    Best of luck!
  6. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL

    it's a friendship that's turned into me taking on this persons debts and who owes me $4000 to start with.

    and people shooting pit bulls and stealing them happens more than you think, it's not legal mind you, but it still happens.

    Check here. http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/justice-4-gage

    A story of a loving pit bull gunned down in his own back yard by an ignorant neighbor.

    And here. http://www.wrdw.com/crimeteam12/headlines/11846446.html

    And I've read where someone set a pit bull on fire.

    Horrible. Granted all sorts of animals are abused, but there are more cases and a higher frequency in animal cruelty crimes involving pit pulls.

    Anyways. It's absurd that people classify pit bulls as a dangerous breed, but I'm not willing to sacrifice an investment by letting a friend (who's already a whole in my pocket) bring a dog (doesn't matter what kind)into my house and not willing to make it an outside dog just because of the frequency of abuse the breed is subject to. Her just being a pit bull complicates things, and if anything were to happen I'd be the one taking the blame because I'm housing the animal. Doesn't matter who owns it. Needless to say that I'd almost be paying double for homeowners insurance.

    I've already suggested that we walk her around that area and go door to door introducing her to the families that live there.

    But let me ask you this, are you willing to put your life and the life of someone you love in jeopardy for the sake of someone else?

    I'm a care giver by nature, that’s why he owes me so much money and I haven't made action to collect, but me putting all my assets on the line I feel is asking to much. No friendship, no matter what you say, is worth that kind of trouble.

    And people I've known to keep pit bulls where taken to court by an ignorant neighbor a months back. Just because the dog made that person feel 'threatened'. That’s all it takes. Sure that person will probably fail in his suit, but that didn't stop him from trying and complicating the families lives any did it? They will still be liable for state and court costs, not to mention representation.

    I'd rather not play that game.
  7. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    great stuff, i guess i should have taken more time to write up the first post. i've already check ordinances, my insurance company (which would be double than what it is). and all that other stuff.

    anyways, this is what i really need.

    I told him it's a no go. i know he needs a cheaper place to stay / pay me off, but the liabilitys / extra costs doesn't justify me housing hims 'until he can afford his own place'.

    so i turned him down. and he didn't take it very well, and said some very unkind things.

    my question is... did i do the right thing?
  8. Mart61


    Dec 23, 2006
    Camberley, UK
    I think you did. What kind of friend is he to speak to you the way he seems to have done?

    My only problem would be the $4000 he owes you. I think you may take a hit on this.
  9. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    ugh, i know.

    it's a long story, but since i know i bore you i'll keep it short.

    part of that is because he owes me for a car. you see i bought a car for my girlfriend because she needed one. that was around the time my friend got into a wreck and fell off the the radar for abour 4 days. he needed transportation so i lent him out the car i got courtney, he'd have a replacement car of his own in about a week he said. well, that fell through and a week turned into 5 or 6 months. well, having him drive a car that wasn't in his name was a liability. he needed it and for the sake of our friendship i pretty much signed it over to him for free. with the agreement he pay me a sum of money every month.

    he defaulted on that last year.

    then there were other things. so yeah.
  10. Howdy Neighbor,

    You will never be able to convince your neighbors that a pit bull is sweet and kind if they have their minds made up about the breed. Not letting a friend rent or move into your house out in the country because of a Pit puppy is kind of strange to me. You need to re-evaluate what is more important, your freindship or how a dog is percieved. Madison County currently has no breed specific legislation laws and besides there are probably many more Pit Bulls around you that you know of. It seems that I see more and more of them every day. As far as insurance goes, mine has no issues with the breed.

    If you are planning on starting a life with your signifigant other having a roommate will just complicate things IMHO..

    Good luck...
  11. Mart61


    Dec 23, 2006
    Camberley, UK
    It seems like you are a caring giving chap. My advice would be to sever all ties with your "friend". Make a life for yourself and your wife to be.

    If there is a way of getting back your money, then pursue it - but not if it's gonna cost you more. It would be what my father would say "Throwing good money after bad"

    Chalk it up to experience and move on.

    Sorry if that sounds harsh.
  12. Yeah--I agree (I'm not a dog/pet owner-2 kids were enough!) but my experiences over the years is that it is the little yapper dogs that are he biggest pain in the rear with their incessant yapping and propensity to chew on anything in sight!!!
  13. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    out in the country is fine, but where I hope to move isn't so. it's a small housing area so their would be a presence of people to say the least.

    and re-evaluating my friendship? I've given this friend a car almost entirely for free. Do you have a friend willing to do that?

    sorry, I think I may have taken offence to that comment, so i apologize. I could care less about how a dog is perceived, this dog is a nice dog and i've come to love her, but when it comes to my personal expense I think I'd rather leave well enough alone.

    That is a cool post. Doesn't sound harsh at all. I've already chalked that money up to experience and moved on long ago, if he pays me cool, but I don't expect anything and I'm fine with that too. But wanting to move in to my new home and let his dog have free run of my house doesn't sit well with me especially when the dog I own is perfectly content with being an outside dog only / garage dog during bad whether. It only dawned on me yesterday that I would have more to worry about than smelly stinky carpet in the house, like how the people around me would view me housing an 'aggressive' breed, it makes for trouble down the road. And all the shootings, burnings, prosecutions, etc. I think I've done enough for him, and am not willing to lose a $150,000 dollar investment or my plans with my significant other for the sake of friendship.

    Am I wrong to feel this way?

    thats a nice saying there btw, never heard it before. i'll have to remember it.
  14. You asked for opinions so you are going to get mine. The person you are refering to as a friend is simply using you because he can. He probably does it in a very nice way, may even put a little guilt on you because you are doing well and could "spare a few". This person is not a true friend if they keep coming to you with their hand out, they are in the relationship for one thing. They might now be doing it purposly, but it could be just who they are. You have to dig deep and figure out if they are the kind of person that you want in your life for the long haul.

    Just so you know, I was in a relationship that was give and take, I gave and she took.:rolleyes:  I thought I was doing a good thing but in the end all it did was drag me down and hold me back. Since the divorce (yes I was dumb enough to marry her), she has moved on to leaching off of other people as that is who she is. Since she got the boot, I have move into a great house, excelled at work and now have my life back on track. The point is to take a deep look at who you are and where you are going and see if this person fits. Don't feel guilty about giving them the boot, it will be best for both of you in the long run.

    Good luck.

    Oh, and I have a couple of Rottweilers so I see where you are coming from with the dog side of things. I have put up fences to keep my dogs safe from the idiots that live in my area, better safe than sorry!
  15. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    wow, that was great. i'll reflect on your words for sure. and we'll see were i end up. :biggrin:

    he is a good friend but i donno how it came to be this way. but you're right, he's cool to hang out with but not cool to do business with.
    i probably need to make that a rule in my life. thanks again! you're words actually helped a lot.

    same to everyone else, thank you very much.

    KEEP EM COMIN! LOL :biggrin:
  16. latazyo


    Apr 23, 2008
    I think its a shame that you all have to protect your "aggressive" dogs from people...crazy

    Tim, I think Michael gave pretty good advice

    you also have to think "would he do the same for me if he could"?
  17. You went the extra triathlon, forget about the extra mile. You did more than the right thing.
  18. Wolfie


    Jun 16, 2008
    Hazel Green, AL
    I hope so,

    i understand i may not receive advice that i want to hear, i will reflect on all that is given none the less. honestly if he'd just comprimise half way for me i may reconsider, but he insists that he'll sign another apartment lease before making his dog an outside dog. So sign another lease he shall. lol.

    anyways, i offered to get together and walk her around the small area where the house is a few times. maybe even go door-to-door and introduce her to everyone. She's a really sweet dog, not a mean bone in her body. i know people would warm up to her if given the chance.

    however, i still don't want her in my house lol. no poopy carpet for me! :biggrin:
  19. jcovert

    jcovert Guest

    I disagree with everyone. Let's see...no car, no place to live, sketchy income... But gosh darnit I'm responsible enough to own a Pit!

    Let's get real. Pit bull is a dangerous breed. And that's the #1 reason people get 'em. But I have love for all animals. Its just I feel the same way about pits as I do about Lions and tigers. I think its fine if people want to keep these animals, but they should have a proper caged enclosure, and substantial insurance in case of accident.

    Maybe its not the dogs, but the owners, and the 'friend' is a clear case of an owner that is only concerned with himself. Pit bulls are about as misunderstood as assault rifles. Own 'em if you want, but get a freakin' license and insurance, because most owners of these dogs currently are not really concerned with the potential harm they can inflict. For every link about dogs shot, I can find stories of little kids killed by pits. Not being dramatic, its a fact.
  20. Well...

    Tim, I have to agree with Michael... I no longer frequent people who can't get out of the hole they dug themselves in and I am much better for it.

    You want a life for yourself and you are moving into a house where you'll start your new life with your soon to be wife, cut your losses and move on - you have taken $4000 of his debts, when you mentioned your hesitation about him moving into your new digs he said some unkind words...

    Move on, life is short and there is nothing is better than surrounding yourself with like minded, optimistic and happy people. I don't think it is a dog issue, sadly it seems to be something else all together...

    If free advice from a guy on the Internet, you are getting your money's worth.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.