Advice about a friend and the pitbull stereotype...

[Wolfie]

yeah, this i know. but it doesn't help to stereotype them. i disagree to that affect. But if the court, law and insurance companies see them as a liability then what right do i have to say otherwise.

USAA is a pit friendly company, but my rates would be significantly higher. eeeh...no.. i'm not paying the extra costs. plus with people being as sue crazy these days, i'm not in the right framed of mind to get my butt sued off either. lol.

but in the end, i did make one ultimatume, he resolve himself to keeping the dog in the back yard. there is a privacy fence all around and it's huge, lots of shrubbery for shade, and a large deck to walk under. notice i said walk and not crawl. it's pretty high up even a great dane could walk under there with out strain.

but he refused to put her outside sayin he'd sooner sign another lease for his apartment than make her an outside dog. well, so be it. live at your place and i'll live at mine.

i mean, come on! not even MY dog comes in side. so i'll be da**ed if i let someone elses dog have free run of my house, pit or otherwise. i'd be like this regardless of the breed, but i just woke up to the implications of housing a pit were just yesterday.

remember, i'm only 23 and this is my first home buying experience. i have NO idea what i'm doing lol.

 

[Wolfie]

Tim, I have to agree with Michael... I no longer frequent people who can't get out of the hole they dug themselves in and I am much better for it.

You want a life for yourself and you are moving into a house where you'll start your new life with your soon to be wife, cut your losses and move on - you have taken $4000 of his debts, when you mentioned your hesitation about him moving into your new digs he said some unkind words...

Move on, life is short and there is nothing is better than surrounding yourself with like minded, optimistic and happy people. I don't think it is a dog issue, sadly it seems to be something else all together...

If free advice from a guy on the Internet, you are getting your money's worth.

great stuff! i'm begining to feel better about the choice i made.

 

[staceylynn]

There are a lot of things that can go wrong here, with and without the dog.

Personally, I used to have that stereotype about pits and then I met a few that were amazingly gentle. Would I own one? Probably not, but that's because I don't have the time to put in the train them the way they SHOULD be trained.

On a different note, if your friend is getting upset with you about your decision, then something is wrong there. Can he not see how much you've already done for him? Besides that, you are getting ready to move on with your life and get married, and personally, I don't think that's any place for anyone besides the husband and wife.

You can remain friends, but you're not his father, so he needs to learn to take care of himself and be mature enough to realize everyone has their own comfort zone and thats OK - that doesn't make you a bad friend.

 

[Wolfie]

There are a lot of things that can go wrong here, with and without the dog.

Personally, I used to have that stereotype about pits and then I met a few that were amazingly gentle. Would I own one? Probably not, but that's because I don't have the time to put in the train them the way they SHOULD be trained.

On a different note, if your friend is getting upset with you about your decision, then something is wrong there. Can he not see how much you've already done for him? Besides that, you are getting ready to move on with your life and get married, and personally, I don't think that's any place for anyone besides the husband and wife.

You can remain friends, but you're not his father, so he needs to learn to take care of himself and be mature enough to realize everyone has their own comfort zone and thats OK - that doesn't make you a bad friend.

thank god! someone gets it. lol.

yeah, he said it was only going to be about 4 months or so. until he can afford himself another place. whenever that is. and yeah, I want it to just be me and my wife.

i was willing to be flexible for him but he didn't want to meet me half way. this pit is an awesome dog, she's so gentle and sweet. the same with my dog.

he's still my friend but i'm done doing business with him.

 

[Wolfie]

well, good news is i got him to apologize. :biggrin:

but he's still not moving in. ^.^

 

[vinman]

well, good news is i got him to apologize. :biggrin:

but he's still not moving in. ^.^

By far the best arrangement yet!

If for no other reason, the plans you seem to be making with your significant other are paramount to a friend who seems to have some entitlement issues!

Take it from someone who has learned the hard way - people like this can unintentionally drag you down further than they are! And sometimes they'll even do it intentionally!!

I'm not even getting into the whole dangerous breed subject except to say that ANY dog CAN be dangerous if not trained in the best possible manner for that specific breed - and even then, some have a propensity for more aggressive behavior. Ask one of my best friends who has a Staffordshire. Wonderful, obedience trained (with awards), indoor, sweet dog. Except on rare occasion he'll randomly react to another dog VERY aggressively. He's put two into emergency care. Totally random. It's even happened with his Staff and his other dog (after three years of calm interaction). Ok, so it appears I DID get a little into the subject. I think you made the right decision for far more reasons than just the dog!

 

[Wolfie]

Agreed. thanks Vinman

 

[bobhoge]

Hi Tim,

Old Fogey Advice...

The dog is NOT the main issue, you are (pre?)planning to get married, you sure don't want a roommate and a wife, unless they are one and the same person! Your friend needs to grow up and get on in his life, and you need to move forward with your spouse-to-be.

Bob

 

[Whitedog]

bobhoge is right!! and lemme tell you, making a success of your marriage will be enough of a challenge without a third wheel. Let the friend live his life and you and your wife get on with yours. You can still do the guy things and be friends but he isn't your responsibility.

As far as the dog, I have and always have had dogs which is where my screen name comes from but mine are basically outside/kennel dogs. They have at least an hour a day out for exercise, have visiting privileges inside our home and are part of the family but at night they go to the kennel (heated in winter) where they are free to romp and play as long and rowdy as they want. Pits can be sweet dogs but I would never expose young children or other dogs to them, just too big a gamble.

 

[Phyer Phyter]

There are a lot of things that can go wrong here, with and without the dog.

On a different note, if your friend is getting upset with you about your decision, then something is wrong there. Can he not see how much you've already done for him? Besides that, you are getting ready to move on with your life and get married, and personally, I don't think that's any place for anyone besides the husband and wife.

You can remain friends, but you're not his father, so he needs to learn to take care of himself and be mature enough to realize everyone has their own comfort zone and thats OK - that doesn't make you a bad friend.

1000% right on Staceylynn.

I think the "Friend" is a bigger problem than the dog in more ways than one. How long is the "friend" gonna ride on your shirt tails? Is your girlfriend marrying you or you and your "Friend" I thinks the writing is on the wall here. Fix problem with friend also fixes problem with dog. Funny how that will work out huh?

 

[deadmeat]

Hey bud,

I would have to agree with the others. Don't let this guy move in. If his "I'll be out in 4 months" is anything like his "I'll borrow your car for 4 days..." then you are not going to want him around. If you think he's saying unpleasant things right now for not letting him move in, just think how unpleasant he will be when you tell him he needs to move out. Only this time he'll have a key to your house and access to your stuff (not that he would do that, but I've heard horror stories from other people!).

Being a pit owner myself, I know how people can be. I used to take my pit to the park once a week, and he'd run his *** off until he just laid down out of exhaustion. Then it was time to go home. I've had people say mean things to me about my dog, and I guarantee you, any, ANY time anything happened at that park between two dogs, if mine was even inside the fence, I heard people scream "It's because of that pit bull! They're the reason for all this trouble!" and he'll be 100 feet away taking a crap minding his own business. But it's always his fault.

One time, a guy came in with about 5 or 6 big dogs, all by himself. This annoying old lady, her dog is very possesive of her. So one of the dogs came over and sniffed hers, and it got angry, and nipped at one of them, and next thing we know, all 5 or 6 of the guys dogs are on top of her dog, AND MINE! She reached her hand in to get her dog, and got bit by one of the 5 dogs, and I reached in to grab mine, pulling the other dogs of mine who was on his back thrashing around. I got mine out, but of course, it was MY dogs fault for the lady getting bit. It wasnt one of the 5 dogs attacking either of ours, it was MINE because it was the pit.

I've gone through all the stereotypes, and I've had people tell me I should leave the park just because he was a pit, and they didn't know better. Yeah, he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he's still a puppy (2.5 years... that counts as a puppy, right? lol). I had one guy tell me that my dog was playing too rough with another dog, though he was just wrestling and chasing. And then the owner of the other dog came over and told the guy to "Shut up, they're playing just fine." The guy got an offended look on his face and left.

I'd say you are better off without a pit in your home. Especially if you're dog lives outside, it's not fair to your dog that someone elses dog lives inside. Besides, just wait until it discovers that exciting white fluffy stuff hiding inside couches and pillows...
http://www.myspace.com/atlastpooperton

-meaty

 

[Wolfie]

lol. I rolled laughing at that pillows and couch remark.

good stuff everyone. keep em comin!

 

[Matt S]

You said your 23. Everyone is different, but for me that was about the age I figured out that drinking buddies and friends were not the same thing. My friends are there when the stuff hits the fan. We help each other out however we can. No one is taking anyone for a ride. You may have been a true friend and been there for this guy, has he done the same for you? If not I would re-evaluate HIS part of the friendship.

Is this person a true friend? From your descriptions I would say not.

In the end I really don't think the issue is the dog.

 

[Wolfie]

You said your 23. Everyone is different, but for me that was about the age I figured out that drinking buddies and friends were not the same thing. My friends are there when the stuff hits the fan. We help each other out however we can. No one is taking anyone for a ride. You may have been a true friend and been there for this guy, has he done the same for you? If not I would re-evaluate HIS part of the friendship.

Is this person a true friend? From your descriptions I would say not.

In the end I really don't think the issue is the dog.

you're right,

the issue wasn't the dog, it was him. the dog (regardless of breed) just complicated things, and then it being a pit complicated things further. we've known eachother for a long time, and he actually is (or was) a great friend, although it seems like i was there to pull him outta the dung when he got covered in it... so to speak. but not so much for me, i never needed that kind of 'looking after'.

he's been there to help with small stuff, engine swaps, driving states away to buy yet another car for my girlfriend, etc.

i have decided to take a step back and remember that i'm living for only my family and myself (girlfriend included of course :biggrin.

i should probably keep financials and business away from him, but still be a friend to hang with and stuff.

 

[gladjo]

i should probably keep financials and business away from him, but still be a friend to hang with and stuff.

Sounds like he should clean up his act first. :wink:

 

[Beezle]

Sounds very irresponsible to be taking on a dog without the means to support it.

So far as pits go, I've only ever met very nice ones. However, were I to see one lose in the vicinity of my young children, the dog's life would mean nothing to me. And I love animals and dogs in particular.

Then again I was once mauled by a dog. When I was about 5. His owner couldn't believe his dog would hurt anyone. So it is a complex issue to say the least. It isn't as if nobody has ever been hurt by a "pit."

Here's my wife with a Staffordshire Terrier, the original breed I think, on her lap in my apartment in the UK. Back in the 80s. He was a great dog. Pulled the arms too long on all of my sweaters though.

Subscribe to see EXIF info for this image (if available)

So far as the friend goes, good luck with that. Personally I'm happy enough supporting my wife and kids. Friends are one their own for a place to stay and money to spend.

 

[Bolts]

http://www.dogbitelaw.com/Dog Attacks 1982 to 2006 Clifton.pdf

Fascinating combiled statistics of dog bites, deaths, maimings, etc., by breed.

All in all, I'd rather be attacked by a yorkie than a pit bull.

 

[Wolfie]

http://www.dogbitelaw.com/Dog Attacks 1982 to 2006 Clifton.pdf

Fascinating combiled statistics of dog bites, deaths, maimings, etc., by breed.

All in all, I'd rather be attacked by a yorkie than a pit bull.

lol, or a Chuwawa. those little buggers are mean!