Bubba's Home Security

Joined
Feb 13, 2005
Messages
1,709
Location
Macon, Ga.
My good friend Bubba... ya'll know Bubba, don't you.. laughs at me for paying about $30 a month for a home security company to monitor the security on my house. I asked him if he had a better idea, that I was all ears. He told me he did this, even wrote it out for me.
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Earl, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. See you in a few minutes
Bubba

Hmmmmm... maybe the boy is on to something.
 
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Messages
1,020
Sounds like Bubba has been to my house. I had a pet buzz worm for years. When I would go off I would put him in a diffrent cage and leave his cage open so that it could be seen from the front door. The note on the front door would read "Dad, dam rattlesnake got out again". We use to have lots of cook-outs at the house. The gest restroom was down the hall on the left. I would put buzz in a pen in my bedroom and we would tell all that there was a free buzz worm in the house again. I have a good sized dried buzz worm that dad got at a Texas gun show. We would hide the tolit paper in the rest room and place the dry buzz on a white bath towell just to the right of the tolit. Its a wonder the door stayed on the hinges. If I had five bucks for every chick that made the living room with her panties around her ankles I would go buy a new lens. Life is fun if you think out side the box/cage. We have "play things" at my home and we have hurt things at my home. My home security does not depend on a neighbor or a cop. If someone breaks in here their next stop is going to be the doctor, and no I don`t give a hoot about some bed wetting lawyer tring to make a buck off of me for it. Its my stuff in my home and its going to stay here.
 
Joined
Apr 11, 2007
Messages
315
Location
SW Ohio, USA
Real Name
Dave
A good friend of mine recorded a mean arse barking dog, hooked it up to a simple switch on the door. When you opened the door you would have sworn you were about to be lunch.

He forgot to turn it off one day, the Pizza dude came to the door - he said he dropped the pizza and was in his car before he even had the door open all the way.
 
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
2,278
Location
Edmonton, Alberta
I had heard, along time ago, of 2 women that used to go tenting together. They would put a large pair of mens work boots outside the tent. So anyone coming through at night would think there was a big man in side and also during the day anyone going by on the way to the wood pile or bathroom wouldn't stop to chat them up (so to speak) as they would think that there was a man in the tent.
 
Joined
May 4, 2006
Messages
1,920
Location
Alpharetta, GA
Great tip. My monitoring contact gets expired on next January. What I was thinking when I signed up for two years contract? errrr..:Unlocked:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
132
Location
Oakland, CA
LMAO! Good stuff! The Pit Bulls really get a bad rap, I know, I've owned a couple (still do) and they are great dogs. Then again, people jump when they walk by and see my boy sitting on the steps looking out...some of them won't walk on our sidewalk at all now. He's just a big lover, wouldn't bite you no matter what you did to him.

One day a scruffy looking guy came walking down the street (not the sidewalk, middle the street) with a hoody pulled up, my pit didn't like something about him, bolted out into the street barking...guy must have thought he was on his way to becoming a trans-gender 'cause he was screaming like a little girl! Never have seen that guy again. :)

Anyway, the only one who generally knocks on my door is the UPS guy, package in one hand, dog biscuit in the other, and a big smile. :biggrin:
 
Joined
Jan 26, 2005
Messages
978
Location
Viera Fl
Duane,
My son had two of them. He had a hard time getting those to lover pups off his lap:>))

I had a boxer and people left me alone as well. I think I need another one:>))
 
Joined
Apr 15, 2007
Messages
132
Location
Oakland, CA
Duane,
My son had two of them. He had a hard time getting those to lover pups off his lap:>))
Yea, ours sleeps between my wife and I, he's a real covers hog...was worse when we had 2 of them, had to get a bigger bed. :smile:
 
R

Rick Waldroup

Guest
I have a dinkey little weiner dog, it likes to sing. I`m the "alpha" predator around here.
Yes, I have one of those too. His bark is much deeper than his actual size and he thinks he is a real bad ***. His name is JoJo. He's a good watchdog but he would not hurt a fly. In reality he is a big wuss.:biggrin:
 
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