cats and dogs

Mar 27, 2007
Columbia, MD
Subject: cats and dogs

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

>>>8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>>>9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>>>9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>>>10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
>>>12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>>>1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>>>3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>>>5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>>>7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>>>8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>>>11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

>>>Day 983 of my captivity.
>>>My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
>>>They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
>>>hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
>>>rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
>>>keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
>>>escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>>>Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
>>>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
>>>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
>>>condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. B*st*rds!
>>>There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
>>>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
>>>could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
>>>confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
>>>means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>>>Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
>>>tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
>>>again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>>>I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
>>>The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
>>>seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
>>>bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
>>>guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
>>>have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
>>>safe; for now.
Jul 7, 2008
Bedford, MA
This is so true! Love it. But, to play Devil's advocate, at least you don't have to pick up a cat's wet poop in a bag in public. I was so over that with our puppy! Ick. I think that pets, like children, are often better seen and not heard, lol.

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