For the Ladies

[Jarrell]

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-

shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

 

[Frits]

Traitor!!!! :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[Tweetybrd]

ROFL!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning....:biggrin:


Shannon

 

[Leigh]

Wow...that's some trick you managed Jarrell...I smiled before my first cup of coffee this morning! :wink:

 

[Gale]

Instruction Manual


lolololol

 

[Lowolf]

you know I pay extra for them not to include one of them Manuals.
great laughs

 

[TOLady]

yup... yup.... yup..... *ROTFL* No wonder you stay married for so long, Jarrell. You know exactly what to say and do to keep the peace! :wink:

 

[sommer]

Bwahahaha...too true! Thanks for making me laugh on a day when all I want to do is climb back into bed and sleep for a dozen hours or so.

 

[MParker]

These are very funny! I made wide distribution on them.

 

[LisaR]

Now, now, Jarrell ...... all of these were previously unheard (to me) traits of the male species. I must say that you are a true Southern Gentleman for sharing these, not to mention making me laugh until my sides ache. For this, I award you major brownie points! :smile: Unfortunately, I can't stay long and chat ....... I've got a lot of things (including my email folder) that I have to label before hubby comes home from work!!! :biggrin: :biggrin:
I'm still laughing just trying to hit the submit button!!!

 

[Beezle]

Q: how do you make a man wear pants around the house?

A: hide his boxer shorts!

Yes, I made it up and yes it's not as funny.

It is however a true story.

 

[Rob]

This is from a much longer list of questions to and answers from children. it's the only one that made me hoot. :biggrin: :biggrin: Sorry girls.



HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10

 

[TexIndian]

Way to go, Rob. Somebody has to stand up for us guys. Hope you don't mind if I stand a few feet away from you now. I think I hear the sound of incoming!!

 

[Rob]

"Innnnkkkkummmmiiiiinnnnnnnnnn!"

That would explain the whistling in my ears. Deep deep, dig quickly. :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[Jarrell]

True story.
I was visiting a model railroading buddy the other day and when I walk in he's reading this little book. I notice that on the front of it is printed "Digitrax" (a popular power and throttle system in the hobby) and he looks up at me and says,'darn, I didn't know it would do all this! Maybe I oughta read this stuff more'
He's only had the system for four years. He just found the power button, hit it and off to the races! :biggrin:
Jarrell

 

[IrishBryan]

I am insulted that you think men are so stupid....

Why just this last night I did a load of clothes my self with out the wife........


































































Never mind I ruined 4 pairs of dress pants and 5 dress shirts with a ink pen and had to wear jeans to work today beacuse I forgot to remove it from my pants.........

But still how dare you!!

:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[seafoxfla]

lol and no i will not show them to my wife..........:smile:

 

[seafoxfla]

lol and no I will not show them to my wife..........:smile:

 

[LisaR]

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10

Rolling here .... :biggrin: My hubby had a doctors appointment today. The nurse was checking him in and told him that his "reading" was 98 out of 100, and that he was almost perfect. Hubby wanted to know if she would go out in the waiting room and tell me!! :smile:

Thankfully ..... the test results all came back good.

 

[cajun angel]

ROFL! This thread is just too funny! Thanks for the laughs! Nice way to get the day going!