This year feels especially tense and contentious. Friends tell me that they have gone so far as posting a set of "things we will not talk about at Thanksgiving dinner" on the dining room wall. I find that humor (especially what the late Tennessee Ernie Ford called "groaners") helps me put all that aside. In that spirit, here are some (Cafe-friendly) jokes I have collected (and, yes, most are groaners
). Feel free to add your own.
May we all find peace and companionship in shared laughter.
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Don’t forget to turn your bathroom scale back 15 pounds Wednesday night at 1am for Thanksgiving.
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The Jones family invited the Smith family to Thanksgiving dinner. Little Danny Jones was best friends with Jimmy Smith. As they played and waited for dinner time, Jimmy asked Danny, “Do you pray before Thanksgiving dinner?” “No,” Danny replied, “My mom knows how to cook.”
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Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers.
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
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Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
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Picked up a hitchhiker. Seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles he asked me if I wasn’t afraid that he might be a serial killer. I replied that the odds against two serial killers in the same car were astronomical.
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A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replied, “I’d take half and leave you.” “OK,” he said, “I just won $12, Here’s $6. Keep in touch.”
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I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say, “Wow!” that many times during your first session.
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The three hardest things to say are:
1. I was wrong
2. I need help
3. Worcestershire sauce
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
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Therapist to couple: What brings you here today?
Woman: He takes everything I say literally. It’s driving me crazy.
Man: My truck.
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