I might be missing for awhile....

Joined
Dec 3, 2012
Messages
6,553
Location
N Idaho
Last week my wife Mari was diagnosed with a 4 cm right parletal brain tumor. We've been talking with the neurosurgeons at U of Washington, who appear to be very good. Early next week we will be going to Seattle, she has surgery scheduled for Friday. I doubt I'll be doing much photography for a bit.
 
Joined
Jan 12, 2018
Messages
601
Location
Puget Sound
Real Name
Ken
I wish you and your wife the best of outcomes! Post if you have logistical questions. There are a number of locals in the forum who can make recommendations if need be.

All the best,

--Ken
 
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
5,323
Location
Houston, TX
Rick,

I do not know if you have had to walk this pathway previously, so I will share with you some advice to help you to better give your wife the best care you can deliver.

Support your wife as best you can by always being positive and excluding anything negative (unload that with your friends on your "me-time" days). As a health care giver/supporter you MUST take time for your own mental health by taking some time for your own interests and distractions. I was working at the time Monica was sick but I never missed driving her for chemo once she could no longer drive herself. I chose Saturday for "me-time" and the one day break from attending to Monica's needs kept me sane throughout her illness. The "me-time" was suspended during crises, of course. Some of the "me-time" was spent talking with friends about her and the fears I had.; I spent some time pursuing my photography, reading or just going for a drive. This weekly break give me the rest I surely needed and I did NEED it.

I apologize if this intrudes, but I'm paying forward the advice shared with me when she first became ill. I was able to cope with the stress of Monica's illness for the 5 1/2 years she was sick.

May the best of your past be the worst of your future,
Nick
 
Joined
Nov 14, 2005
Messages
1,977
Location
Winter Haven, florida
So sorry to hear, and prayers going your way.
As an MD, I deal with this more than I would choose, and would agree with Nick. There are two people here that are involved and whose lives will change forever. To take good care of her, you have to take good care of yourself.
I had colon cancer 14yrs ago, and went through many of the same fears and worries. I had my scares and bumps along the road, and I think they were harder on my wife and family than they were on me.
During treatment and after I now realize I was also badly depressed, and should have been doing something about it- but I didn't. And I didn't realize it until years later.
Listen to your friends, accept their help, reach out if you need to.
They can do marvelous things today.
Good luck, and best wishes.
Gary
 

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