I'm zippin' up the Nomex

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by StL_Don, Dec 20, 2005.

  1. NB: Nomex is a fire proof fabric used in protective clothing.

    I'm having problems understanding all of the posts I read both here and on just about any other photo forum* saying things to the effect of
    "My spouse would kill me if I bought this" or "I have to get permission to buy this".

    Now, if we are talking about spending the spouse's money or using funds that are needed for the house payment or other important matters - well then you should be in trouble and in fact shouldn't even be considering the purchase. Same goes if it means going deeper into debt when you are already over your head. But if none of that is true and you can afford and justify (another topic altogether) the purchase then why on earth is it an issue?

    Major decisions that affect both parties are different. I don't think one party should decide to replace all the furniture or repaint the house purple without it being a joint decision.

    In 19 yrs of marriage I don't think my wife has ever asked me if she could buy something for herself and the same goes for me. We may have talks like "what do you think of this laptop?" or "do you think I should get this?", but never "May I get this, please?".

    I don't mention this as a way of saying neener neener, I'm better off than you. I bring it up because I don't understand, I have no point of reference having not been there since leaving my parents.

    I can see discussing purchases out of respect for the spouse, but permission...

    Don

    *Interestingly, I seldom see this on other hobby forums that I read.
     
  2. RForshey

    RForshey Guest

    Looks like no one has gotten permission to answer...:biggrin:
     
  3. strobel

    strobel

    428
    Apr 30, 2005
    Algonquin, IL
    I would venture to guess that most people when they say things like that are only having fun. I would say that most people discuss this with the spouse out of respect, not to get permission. If it is true and they don't know how to break the news to there spouse then they are best off being single.
     
  4. LOL
     
  5. rbsmith

    rbsmith

    Apr 13, 2005
    Saltillo, Ms
    I don't know but it still seems a lot easier to get forgiveness than permission.
     
  6. Rob

    Rob

    873
    Jul 28, 2005
    Truro, Cornwall, UK
    Don, does your boss (wife) have a gorilla mode? You know the one where you think to yourself, 'Oh no she's been training with the Packers Defence again'.
    There's a subtle difference between 'asking permission' and 'gaining acknowledgement' that you are about to do something life threatening.

    It's all in fun, I spend far more buying pressies for her than on camera gear. That's why I witter about getting a flashgun and other goo gaas because I'd actually rather keep the big cat in the cage!:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

    Quote (honest): "Don't buy me any more jewellry this Christmas please."

    Now construe that in Guy Speak.

    "OK guys, get out the credit card and last one into B&H is a loser!"
     
  7. PJohnP

    PJohnP

    Feb 5, 2005
    Don :


    Heh. Well, I wear Nomex® a lot of the time for my work, so your title only whets my appetite for discussion ! :rolleyes:

    After twenty (plus) years with the same woman, I don't need to "ask permission", but I sure do respect her enough to let her know I'm thinking about a largeish purchase. She's never made a refusal to the concept, although on the larger ones she's (rightfully) asked if I've researched the item in question enough to be satisfied with it. She does tease me from time to time when I start to talk about technological toys, but that's perfectly fair in the big scheme of things (and I do occasionally wax ecstatically for perhaps a substantial interval :wink: ).

    It probably also helps that I don't go hog-wild every time that a new camera body comes on the market...

    ... although she does occasionally look at my lenses with an odd expression !


    John P.
     
  8. Please translate for those of us on the other side of the pond - "pressies"?? :confused:


    Oh, maybe you may mean "presents".
     
  9. PJohnP

    PJohnP

    Feb 5, 2005
    Pa :

    Sometimes also written, "prezzies", if that helps. :Dizzy:


    John P.
     
  10. cmpalmer

    cmpalmer

    301
    Jan 27, 2005
    Huntsville, AL
    I figure most people who say that are generally joking around. I wouldn't spend big money without consultation, but I've been known to use a bit of subterfuge. Before I bought Flew's D70, I "borrowed" it for a while to evaluate it. I was pretty sure I would buy it, my wife was pretty sure that I wasn't going to. I took a nice set of pictures of us and the kids, made some nice prints, and never mentioned the purchase until she said, "These are really good pictures. I guess you're going to buy the camera, aren't you?" I said, "Well, yeah, if you really want me to..."
     
  11. We have no sense of "mine" and "hers" in my marriage. And she long ago decided it was fair to trade my freedom for her own. I happened to be good at making the money, and she had a desire to be a social worker.

    So she tolerates my obsessions for the most part. She generally knows what I am up to and has a valued opinion, but we never cross horns over things such as buying the latest expensive toy.

    I married a very strong willed woman, but also one that can be happy with the same personality in her husband.
     
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