Making a baby

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Jaws, Aug 1, 2007.

  1. Jaws

    Jaws

    Mar 27, 2007
    Columbia, MD
    MAKING A BABY

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be here soon."

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
    "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'

    "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

    "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

    "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

    "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

    "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

    "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

    "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

    "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

    "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

    "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh..equipment?"

    "It's true, Ma'am, yes... Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

    "Tripod?"
    "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

    Mrs. Smith fainted........
     
  2. Very funny, indeed!

    PaulC
     
  3. reeeeally funny!!!!! :D :D :D
     
  4. LB Jefferies

    LB Jefferies

    300
    Jan 29, 2006
    I needed an LOL moment today. Thanks for that. :biggrin:
     
  5. LindaZ

    LindaZ

    Jul 29, 2007
    Wilmington, NC
    aaah haha.. thank you for the laugh.
    My very own colicky baby is making me pretty tired, so I'm thankful for the laugh.
     
  6. cajunrose

    cajunrose Guest

    That is SO funny! Too cute!
     
  7. Rob

    Rob

    873
    Jul 28, 2005
    Truro, Cornwall, UK
    On another website one of the lads was enquiring about some former colleagues.

    Any other memories of these two 'walking adverts for contraception'? :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
     
  8. LOL.:biggrin:
     
  9. TheBear

    TheBear Guest

    LOL... nice!
     
  10. jfenton

    jfenton

    Jan 26, 2005
    Haverhill, MA
    Made My Day :)

    I needed a laugh :)
     
  11. sonuj2

    sonuj2

    May 11, 2006
    Naperville, IL
    Definitely made my day and I will surely be forwarding this along to my friends and co-workers. Thanks!!
     
  12. :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: I saw that a year or two ago, but didn't have the gumption to post it here.
     
  13. I really liked that story haha. Very funny indeed.
     
  14. sypher

    sypher

    May 24, 2006
    Cougar Country
    :910:lol:910:
     
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