Your second set of photos is significantly improved over the initial set.
What Glenn said - ditto!
For some ideas, have a look at kvphoto.com. Granted, some of his senior portraits look like glamour shots and as a dad myself, I would not want that, but he does have some good stuff.
Also, have a listen to Kirk Voclain's podcast (episode 28). Very interesting, IMHO.
Keep at it and show us more results!