Hello, all!
I just wanted to take some time and report back on my 31 days of hiatus, “internet fasting”, blackout or whatever you want to call it.
I want to first say that I did, indeed, miss some of my internet only friends. People like you here on the forum. There are people here that have a level head, great conversationalists and good knowledge to share.
Not being on the internet as much, I thought would be a difficult proposition for me. Turns out, it was not that difficult. I realized it was a lot more of a habit than a need. Then that habit started affecting my personality. I started taking things too personally and trying to associate with people that I have no common ground or interests and they seem only interested in trolling. The realization that I can stay out of a conversation is powerful. Just don’t engage!
My responses to what I choose to interact will be greatly different as well. I’m no longer going to return hate/troll/attacks in kind. I’m going to be someone who shares their opinion/experiences, which others can take it for its worth. My interactions are going to going to come from a heart of life not from hate.
I’m OK with disagreements, but it is way too much of an “in-thing” to go about bashing the people and things that you don’t agree with or don’t understand. It’s OK to not be on the same side and have all these things disparate things still exist together. Different is not bad, it is a natural part of the way that existence works.
As a consequence of the 31 days, I’ve been less stressed out. Not being a slave to the social media “ding” on your phone for an Instagram/Facebook/Twitter like of someone sharing every moment of their lives. I’ve turned those services notifications off as well. Now, when my phone pops that notification – it’s from someone in my life that needs that immediate attention. There were people close to me that needed my help and attention that got pushed to the back burner because I grew numb to all the notifications and just started ignoring them.
Reconnecting back, will be done so sparingly. I’m going to cut down on the amount in both number of places I visit as well as the time I visit them. If I chose to check out items on social media, I’m going to limit the when and how long. I’m going to clean out the “friends” and “following” lists to those people I know and not just someone looking to pad their numbers.
Getting more time in life back has allowed for me to get to the better things in life. I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine. Yes…face to face and not over the internet. LOL. The basic premise was that sometimes you need to give up the good things to get the better things. Case in point, I’ve been using the 31 days to restructure my photography business model. Just in this short time period, I stopped taking some jobs that may make me a lot of money but I’m not really interested in doing. Since doing that, I’ve been able to accept more work that interests me. My quality of work has increased and I’ve gotten more cold call work from referrals as a consequence. While the other work may have been good to do, passing on it has given me the ability to get to the better work.
I’ve been able to reconnect more spiritually as there is much less “life noise” and I have more clarity of thought to concentrate on what matters most to me.
Having more time, I have been getting out more and shooting more photography. Talking about it on the forums can sometimes be a substitute for actually doing it. Digging out my old manual focus lenses and using them more has been a boon. The Yashica Y35 camera that I backed on Kickstarter finally arrived. I’ll have a full review on that…but I was able to get out there and SHOOT with it.
Being out there, people notice you and I actually got the opportunity to shoot images of a 1951 Pontiac that a family just received from their grandfather’s estate. Not going to get those opportunities writing on forums! I was out on another shoot and they just came up and asked if I would do the shoot for them.
I feel that because I’ve been less stressed, I’m more approachable. My wife often tells me that I have a bad case of RBF anyway, which normally keeps people at a comfortable distance for me.
A plan is in place for me to start taking my videography more seriously. Some initial projects are in place to begin with, just need to execute.
Life in general has just been better! Having more time to connect and reflect on things that matter instead of being bogged down with triviality is so freeing. Getting “me” in order, “getting my house correct” has put me in a better position to be able to help others. That includes those that are within my personal circle as well as volunteering for those less fortunate. This was one of the first things I realized as a benefit because I was able to help my wife through some of her own personal struggles. She saw how busy I’d become and didn’t want to bother me with things she thought trivial. To me, nothing that causes my family any kind of trouble, stress or pain is ever trivial.
Thinking about my approach, I gave too much credence to the internet and stuff. My care and focus should be more and will be more on people, their ideas and artistic expression. This also factors into my responses to people and what the goal was. Too often, I went into the discussion wanting to be right and getting them to agree with my point. I should have been trying to find out where they wanted to go and what their goal was and then provided feedback like that. I heard what they were saying, but I was not properly listening. Sometimes that is easy to do when there is a lot of noise out there to try and sift through. My goal should always be to help, be kind; never to be argumentative, mean. I need to listen more and speak less and when I do speak, ensure that it is something worth saying.
Lastly, I realized that I need to and want to engage with people more and learn their story and not just be a “drive-by” kind of person. Everyone has a story and that story unfolds over time and is not something you can digest over 5 blog posts about the best settings for a camera and off camera flash. I’m not saying that every tech post I see I need to learn about that person and their backstory. What I’m saying is that for a community to thrive and have fellowship within the community, we need to care about the people we interact with on more than “what can you do for me” way.
If you get to a point in your journey and find that you are losing your way or need a refresh, I highly recommend cutting out all the unnecessary distractions in your life and declutter. It has given me a lot of personal freedom and allowed me to think and get closer to being the kind of person I want to put out there into the world.
Thanks for reading.
Andrew
